琐事


人家也不知道为什么无论到了哪儿,我都很难压抑自己的毒舌属性。
而且也无论到了哪儿,都会有个人默默的支持我的毒舌属性。。。。

舅舅是我们部门唯一大龄单身男青年,82年,有着高高而迷人的发际线,
虽然如果他不说大家也不会觉得他发际线很高但是他自己总是觉得会显得很苍老,很为此而苦恼,
而且熟悉我和我们种族的人都知道,
Where there is a 伤口,where there is a 毒舌。

刚开始的时候人家还保持着温柔小姑娘的状态的时候,
有一次我问起舅舅多大了,
他说你猜呢,
我说猜了怕你伤心,
他说没事儿你说吧,
我说81 82吧。
他就很开心的说对我就是82的。
后来他还深深引以为傲要四处去炫耀有人认同他的80后身份了,
他把我拉到别人前面说嘿,你再跟我重复一下咱中午内对话,
我说啥对话啊?
他说就是内个你问我多大了我让你猜的内个。
我恍然大悟装说哦,舅舅你七几年的来着?

舅舅还热衷于让我们大家给他介绍女朋友,
我说回头我给你发一征婚启事。
George,成熟稳重英俊潇洒,温柔体贴善解人意,
在五百强中身居要职。
然后舅舅就喜笑颜开的说没有没有,
然后我说唯一的美中不足是头发比较稀少,如遇有缘人愿意自费购买并长期佩戴假头套。

我们楼下理发店贼贵但是里面有个发型师实在是很美型,
所以我每次都心里淌着血去剪头发,
后来我跟同事说起来,她们说诶你没打听打听他有没有女朋友什么的么。
我说我面对帅哥不好意思跟人家说话= =
我就爱跟舅舅这样的聊天~

V把三个月大的女儿抱来公司玩儿,又可爱又不怕生,
大家都围着蹂躏她。
小姑娘跟谁都不错,尤其喜欢舅舅抱着。
我后来问他我说你是跟她说来,哥哥抱来着么。
他说没有没有,我真狠不下心这么说。。。
我说怪不得她那么有安全感呢,你跟她实话实说说来,舅姥爷抱抱来着吧。

今天中午我跟舅舅借了四十五块钱,下班的时候还给他,全是五块和十块的,
我还的时候他正看一张什么票,钱拿在手里也没放下,
后来我去倒水我发现他还拿着钱看内票,
我说别看了,没假的。

PS:George,成熟稳重英俊潇洒,温柔体贴善解人意,
在五百强中身居要职。
唯一的美中不足是头发比较稀少,如遇有缘人愿意自费购买并长期佩戴假头套。
此条长期有效。


2 responses to “琐事”

  1. 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